Marriage 101

People marry because they want to spend the rest of their lives with their partner. They have every hope of growing together and creating a relationship that makes them feel emotionally healthy. To achieve this goal, you have to pay great attention to the skills of communication because communication in marriage is the key to a successful marriage. In the order of least to most difficult, there are five communication levels, which are sharing general information; sharing facts; sharing opinion and beliefs; sharing feelings and emotions and sharing needs, intimate concerns, hopes and fears. So the key point is sharing your mind with your spouse.

However, nowadays, people are self-centered and usually neglect the value of communication, and its importance in relationships, on the job, in marriages, and in all aspects of our lives. People may get into trouble in their communication in marriage because they have not developed their ability to listen and communicate, which will prevent people from communicating effectively: not knowing how to communicate properly; not taking the time to think through what they want to say; not taking the time to anticipate what their partner might be thinking and feeling; fear of revealing too much of themselves; fear of their partner’s anger and not wanting to hurt their partner’s feelings

What cause those problems of communication in marriage? It is because the couples may have different backgrounds, perspectives, personalities, and professions. Some couples may keep misunderstanding all inside to avoid the confrontation, but that does not make the relationship any healthier. Couples need to find an effective method of communication. Couples must learn to understand each other better and recognize and accept each other’s point of view.

How to be a good communicator in the course of the communication in marriage? You should know a few communication skills required. First, bear in mind that verbal ability is a beautiful gift, but it can turn ugly if abused. There are some communication firecrackers that you must not throw in your argument, or they will spread and intensify the conflict and make the things even worse. Besides, active listening is a way of communication in marriage that creates the important climate of acceptance and understanding. Active listening is a valuable skill because it demonstrates that you understand what your partner is saying and how he or she is feeling about it. Actively listening does not mean agreeing with the other person. The point is to demonstrate to your partner that you intend to hear and understand his or her point of view. This is good for your relationship. In addition, apology is a special way for demonstrating your empathy and acceptance. A person may be sincerely apologizing and yet, the apology is not perceived as sincere because it is spoken in the wrong language. The five distinct languages of apology are: expressing regret; accepting responsibility; making restitution; genuine repentance and requesting forgiveness.

Learning to have effective communication in marriage is one of the most important aspects of marriage that a couple can work on. To some extent, effective communication is something that can be taught. You can learn to handle confrontations of communication in marriage as learning an art like dance. You should know the basic steps to master the dance of communication. It is also something that should come from the heart. And also remember—effective communication takes practice.