Secondly, have you talked to your wife about the involvement of her family and friends in your married life? That is one huge mistake that people make. Telling our family and friends all about our marriage problems is very dangerous. She should take care to solve the problems between the two of you, instead of ‘sharing her thoughts and feelings’ with others. Family and close friends will usually side with their loved one. Once this divide is caused in a marriage, it become difficult to work together as a team in order to solve your conflicts. Also, if she is emotional, she may listen to bad advice and instead of working through the issues, she may be told to give up. People need to stay out of your ‘issues’ and let you the two of you solve them.

My husband used to tell me ‘it is the two of us who got into this, we are the two to work it through.’
I am not saying you cannot see a counselor, pastor, or therapist, but NOT family. Tell her even if it causes a fight. She will think about it and perhaps change.

Lastly,together try to identify some of the negative patterns you learned as children. I mean- did you all grow up in fighting? alcoholism? divorce? anger? abuse? or loving and supportive homes. Talk about the dysfunctions and how your family dealt with conflict. Try to identify potential ‘pit falls’ you grew up with and change them.
Be open- both of you- and vulnerable to see each other as a FRIEND. That way, you will stop the power struggle and learn to listen to each other as a team. You are there to help and support one another- even when she says something negative about you and vice versa, there can be truth to it. If she feels heard, she may not want to talk to her family or friends. Listen and respect each other.

Again, hang in there and pray. Marriage takes a lot of patience and hard work. These are things people do not want to do. This article is very true. We want freedom. We want happiness and if you aren’t making me happy- I’m out. Problem is- we are all self-centered and so no one can fulfill that happiness for you. My prayers to you.