Open Marriage

An open marriage is the term often used to describe a marriage relationship where the husband and wife have no reservations about one another being sexually involved with other people. Although it is slippery by definition, open marriage is generally considered a committed marital relationship between two people who, under a set of mutually-agreed upon rules, engage in sexual encounters with various partners other than their spouse. This could mean going to a club to pick up sexual partners or simply the freedom to experiment at will.

Open Marriage on Tyra Banks Show Part 1

Open Marriage on Tyra Banks Show Part 2

According to Alex Caroline Robboy, a Philadelphia-based sex and marriage therapist who has counseled numerous couples in open marriage, some successful, some not. In her opinion, a marriage as “open” is really just giving an excuse to something that couples are already doing, including marriages in which one partner is having an affair and the other knows, but looks the other way. If you look cross-culturally and over time, said Robboy, most people do not remain faithful to one partner for the duration of their marriages, in addition, it is incredibly destructive for couples to experiment with open marriage in response to problems or boredom in their sex life.. I do agree with her for this statement. However, I can not accept her opinion that to experiment with open marriage, you have to be in an extremely healthy relationship. If you have a harmonious marriage relationship, there seem no reason that you still need the stimuli outside the marriage.

To be honest, I’m completely close-minded when it comes to the concept of open marriage. When I think about open marriage, I can only conjure a stereotype: deeply unsatisfied adults, most likely going through a mid-life crisis, pathetically searching for hot sex as a solution. I object it because it is not good for a steady marriage life. The dangers of an open marriage are plenty, and here are a few of the most common possibilities: Married couples who exist in an open marriage open the door for extreme cases of jealousy. No mater how open your mind is, jealousy is the nature of human beings. Regardless of the result of open marriage, there is still a social stigma that applies. Open marriage may not be acceptable to family members, friends, and even co-workers, if they know. Depending on the ages of the children, open marriages can have permanent psychological damage. Many married couples who have open marriages enjoy picking up strange women/men at clubs and bars for a one night stand of sexual intimacy. The dangers here are the same as with any casual sex experience; if you don’t know the person with whom you are having sex, the danger of violence is very real.

As for the idea of open marriage, maybe I have become out-of-dated and do not understand the rules of playing games nowadays. However, I will stick to my faith in love and marriage, protecting my happiness like a bird for its nest.

Category : Marriage

8 Comments → “Open Marriage”

  1. monte smith

    8 years ago

    Ok, here’s a thought. Thou shalt not commit adultary. Thou shalt not bring home HIV infection.

  2. ted

    7 years ago

    You are right my friend.

  3. open supporter

    7 years ago

    Limiting sexual contact to only one partner contradicts millions of years of evolution and is an institution forced upon society by an, at the time, all powerful religious majority. One need only look at the 50% divorce rate, 50-60% infidelity rate for men and, depending on your research sourch, the infidelity rate for women running the gamut from 15-45% to understand that monogamy is failing miserably. Not to mention the fact that how other people live their lives is really none of your business and if it grates against your morality that is your problem. Live and let live is the credo best applied or perhaps let him who is without sin cast the first stone might be more appropriate for those who would stick their nose in other peoples business.

  4. Fawks

    6 years ago

    In theory, this could work, but on a personal level, I think it would be hard for me (as well as some others) to have sexual relations without becoming emotional attachment to my partner.

  5. Starr

    6 years ago

    Fawks — Who said you were not supposed to become emotionally involved with your partner(s)?

    Bible quoters — polygamy and multiple (sexual) relationships were very prevelent in biblical history…There IS a school of thought (differnt from your own, perhaps…does that make it invalid — or not posssible?) that the idea of “thou shall not commit adultry” is the result of (relatively) post-modern translations of the original content in such a way as to have lost the orinial intent…which would be interesting to ascertain, however, irrevelent to the current discussion.

    Writer of article – I must disagree with the statement :

    “However, I can not accept her opinion that to experiment with open marriage, you have to be in an extremely healthy relationship. If you have a harmonious marriage relationship, there seem no reason that you still need the stimuli outside the marriage.”

    I come to this discussion from 10 years of experience and meeting/commiserating and counseling with hundred of people. Polyamory REQUIRES a great deal more “health”/openess/communication and commitment than “normal” relationships. At least in the beginning…in the end (whenever that is)…it should require less “effort”…less “issues” to “work through”…as the REAL issues (usually avoided) get out in the open and resolved…

  6. Jamal

    6 years ago

    Chyea boy this is my stuff right hurrrrrrrrr. Get at me. Holla at cha boy.

  7. illicit liaisons

    5 years ago

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  8. andrew decon

    5 years ago

    to say about the comment of hiv would it not be the same to have a job to save someones life who you didnt know had hiv and you contracted it should you leave your spouse even if you were doing what was right. should you give up on your natural wants and desires to be with another person. those who jump to bring religion into marriage do not know any better the vows we take when we get married are supposed to be forever but god himself didnt make this world or its people to last forever so why should r vows? they should but you have to look at them in a different context just like the bible can be misread so can the truth of what it is to be married to have and hold to love and cherish in sickness and health till death do you part. break it down if you cherish your wife and understand her needs but knowing you can not fufuill them would you not be breaking your vows? In sickness back to my former statement if you were doing the lords work in some 3rd world country and a child with hiv got sick on you and you contracted it would you leave your husband or wife or expect them to work throw it even if it meant for your sexual heath you had to be with another person with hiv so you didnt infect the one you love but in religion thats adultery so you say but in truth its more emotional adultery to not let them youd be breaking your vow. To love someone is to give up your needs and wants for the betterment of another love is not always a good thing sometimes people abuse that love for the own gain. there have been many a priest or pope or religious higher arc who have abused the love of the lord for there own gain history doesnt lie but yet you cling to the judgement of others based those belifes now who doesnt understand you or the person your so eagarly trying to force your view upon

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